Burn, third degree.

Wow, it's the last day of January. Perfect time for an update, right??

Well, this just happened literally minutes ago--

I just got home from class. I walked in the door and Maryam yelled out at me. "Wipe your f-ing shoes before you come in here! If I see any dirt I'm going to hit you in the face!"

I meekly wiped my shoes off on the rug, and then took them off, just to make sure that I did not track even a trace of mud through the apartment.

"Get your ass up here," Adrienne yelled.

I ran up the stairs and sprinted into Maryam's room, "what guys? What can I do for you? Just name it."

A-"First of all, stop groveling. It's so unattractive."
M-"You really need to grow a pair Lindsay."
A-"You've got a date on Valentines Day."
L-"I do? Who is it?"
A-"Me. And Maryam. You are going out with us that night."
L-"What if I already had plans?"
M-"Please. Who would ever be your date?"
L-"People love me."
(Adrienne and Maryam laugh until they are in tears)
L-"I'm serious! People love me!"
M-"Shut up Lindsay. You have to do what we tell you to do, it's in the house rules and you know it. And people don't like you, you know that too."
A-"If you don't stop complaining we'll banish you to the basement for the night. AGAIN."

Man. I just can't do a darn thing right around here. Around the rear.

I went to Ohio for the weekend, and apparently Adrienne and Maryam had a grand old time here.

L-"What did you guys do this weekend?"
A-"Went out to dinner on Friday and watched movies on Saturday."
L-"Where'd you go out for dinner?"
A-"Flat Top."
L-"Just the two of you?"
A-"Mariam and Havra came."
L-"Another girl named Maryam?"
A-"Yeah."
L-"Sounds like fun."
A-"Yeah it was, we had a crazy waiter."
L-"Do tell."
A-"He was telling us about how he has become well-versed in reading people's body languages because of the way that people act when they are on dates at the restaraunt."
L-"Was he hot?"
A-"No, he was old."
L-"Don't hate on the old guys."

We had that conversation as I was typing it. Adrienne had no idea! I really pulled the wool over her eyes!

L-"Say something interesting for the blog."
A-"I don't have anything interesting."

Drats.

WAIT! She's got something!

A-"I saw a funny t-shirt. But it's kind of vulgar."
L-"Well, let's hear it."
A-"It said 'I'm kind of shy. But I've got a big dick."
L-"I think I can put that in the blog, right?"
A-"I don't see why not."
L-"I wonder if that is true about all shy guys?"
A-"Trust me, it is."

Whoa there, watch out boys! We've got a tiger on the loose!

I think this was a bad post. I'm sorry. I failed you all today. Let me leave you with this:

Adrienne is studying for a test--I am blogging--Maryam is at the mosque--Joe and Emily upstairs are being SOOO loud, move out already--I went grocery shopping today--the Barkers is on tonight--we have a house mascot--it's a skeleton--we've heard reports that Railroad Randy is actually Railroad Rachel--we like to ROLL OUT every minute of every day--I love A's lady lumps--I'm gonna be a woman soon--the dudes next door aren't that impressive-----------BURN, THIRD DEGREE!

Word to yo moms, I came to drop bombs,

Lindsay "Ain't nobody gonna hold me down" Hallock